Monday, May 22, 2006

quadrupedal and bonnetted turks

some scientists went out to southern Turkey to check out these 5 Kurdish siblings. one of the theories they came up with was genetic: reverse evolution. this idea presupposes direction, or that evolution happens “to generate us as the summit of life’s purpose.” Steven J. Gould totally would have given these scientists noogies, probably after beating them all at arm wrestling. the BBC even made a TV special (about the hand walkers, not arm wrestling) and this was going to be the next big thing. now it seems headed for the Piltdown file.
these guys don’t crawl around on hands and knees like babies but “bear crawl” on hands and feet. no, not like cartoon bears (that go on 2 legs with shirts and no pants). the siblings wear pretty regular clothes and get around like regular bears. they are mentally handicapped but, the scientists observed, “otherwise they had quite strong legs and arms;” they don't mention whether the scientists carried out arm wrestling tests. the siblings’ ability to walk on 2 legs might also have been better studied if the scientists tried them on a course of ladders, rope bridges and waterslides. this way when the science fair and media circus left town the family would be able to keep the assemblage; a boon to the whole community. as things went, they were at least left with new plumbing and electricity. and for now nobody needs to go revise the Sphinx’s riddle.

3 comments:

The Mediocre Gatsby said...

I like how this is such a strange phenomenon - oh and by the way they are mentally handicapped.

I think we have solved the mystery about why these people walk around like bears. I think it might possibly have something to do with them being retarded...

Karla said...

That was very interesting! I don't think I've ever heard of "bear crawlers" before. Actually, your entire blog is interesting! I really like your writing style! It's kind of like National Geographic meets Seinfeld! :)

For some reason, I imagine if any of those siblings attempted to climb a ladder or rope, their back would promptly give out! After walking like that for all their lives, wouldn't their spines curve to adapt?

eped said...

Karla, thanks for visiting all the way from Michigan, and for the kind words. I think Lamarck would be way into your idea about the spines.

Mediocre Gatsby & Karla, it seems you are both Golden Girls fans.