synanthropy, exploiting systems & invention as the mother of necessity

for a while now corvids have been sneaking behind our backs, doing things that only people are supposed to do: making tools, storing up treasures on earth, chasing rabbits into traffic, burgling, waddling around scenic off-ramps and surreptitiously blinking their coy eyelids. now they’ve found a way to put one cocktail-drinking Seattle hipster to work, making them peanut machines! what is it with birds? honestly. the only time they seem to show any promise is when they want something from us. like old friends, looking us up for the first time since junior high to sell us Tahitian noni juice.

who has the heart to tell Josh Klein he’s being led along? that Chomsky swept Skinner’s legs relentlessly back in the 60’s?! yeah, me neither. this time the big carrot is the prospect of harnessing the birds to gather McRubbish, sort our recycling bins and rescue Elizabeth Smart. this could be the end of carpet cleaner coupons in your mail.