Monday, February 04, 2008

good news. I found out I don’t have tuberculosis. so you can all calm down. if you’re still having a rough time of it, free grief counseling will be available around the clock to address your remaining anxieties.

over the holiday break a Taiwanese girl went home and was diagnosed with active tuberculosis. so over the last little while there’s been a big TB scare and hundreds of people went in for tests. the clinic here in town was overwhelmed and started sending people to other towns for testing. she was a student of mine a couple years ago so I got tested too.

here’s a news clip from channel 4 where Siegfried Fischbacher introduces their footage: mostly of snowy cars, students walking around sending text messages, foggy breaths, icicles. pretty unremarkable, actually.

but I did learn some things from the TB literature that the “wellness center” and CDC were handing out at the testing. like, did you know that “TB germs are put into the air when a person with TB disease of the lungs or throat coughs, shouts, sneezes, laughs or sings.” yessir.

and since you can’t really count on the public to read what you give them, a lot of public health information is conveyed through illustrations. first, you can get TB by simply reading comic books on the loveseat in the wrong company. especially if you are laughing, shouting or singing about it.
you can think of TB like hot dogs that fight dirty. your body will respond with welterweight boiled eggs. be sure to eat your boiled eggs.
I’m sorry but if you're viewing this final illustration you'll have to run antivirus software on you computer now. don’t touch the screen! don’t touch anything until you’ve washed your hands.
if you google “filthy nosegay” there are no pictures. it’s blank. I feel strongly that this one should come up under a "filthy nosegay" image search. I don’t know much about how this works but I think if you click on the image a few times that should help. thanks.

4 comments:

T.R. said...

I love to curl up on the sofa with my lover and a copy of "MAG" magazine.

Oh and try this: hyperlink the word "filthy nosegay" on your blog to the URL of that image you posted. Then wait a few days and try your search again.

kel said...

TB is so white trash. wife beater. club with nails in it. scruff. no wonder he's getting socked by a boiled egg.

cate said...

That love seat sicko-girl looks as if she's merely "breathing out the bad" like the guy from The Green Mile. It's not her fault for trying to better the suffering of mankind.

I am glad you weren't sitting next to her though.

eped said...

‘zbud! It turns out that I am the filthy nosegay. ME! oh, cruel, treacherous epidemiology of fate!