fish without faces

Monday, August 25, 2008

back to school: some simple equations

think of a number, any positive whole number.
(you can also open your desktop calculator while you’re thinking.)

now multiply that number by 3.

now multiply the resulting number by itself.

add the digits repeatedly until you have a single digit.
(for example: 5432 becomes 14, which becomes 5)

place a “1” in front of the digit you found.
place a “2” in front of the same digit.
multiply these two numbers together, please.
(for example: the digit 5 becomes 15 x 25)

then multiply the resulting number by 5.

now multiply each digit of this number together.

you probably came up with something like 350, right?
as in 350ppm

Monday, August 11, 2008

clothesline

“here’s what I’m eating these days. where I drink coffee. what I’m reading. this is a picture of my hand petting my pets. my pets sleeping. my roomba. my pets’ fearsome jealousy thereof. and the ongoing account of how I am reconciling all these petty crises, on a post by post basis…”

who are we trying to kid? let’s just put ‘er there and agree that all this blogging business is about narcissism and exhibitionism. and the shortest distance between a narcissist and his own exhibition is a clothesline. so here’s my laundry.

I’m even showing you my ankle socks here, and those are some things I’ve never been proud of. altogether pretty humiliating. but look how easy line drying clothes can be. we just loaf around all day like this! my rashes have all vanished and I’ve added cubits to my stature! and then there’s this website where you can learn other things like about how electric clothes driers use 5-10% of the household electricity in the US and how, yes, it looks like it’s become a movement.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Wasatch Plateau Marathononon

I’m planning this again and you should really think about it this time because it’s tremendous. look over the details from last year; it’s all right there. the main difference here though is 30 miles (instead of 28). but again, you’re welcome to do it on your bike instead. and do as much or little of it as you like: 5k, 5 miles, 10k, half marathon, relay, anyone interested, whatever.

here's a good map of the route from USATF. you can zoom in for detail and look around.
(thanks for the tip Erin!)

and here are some photos of the area

when: Saturday, September 6, 2008, AM

I repeat, this is for anyone interested - friends, family, strangers. let me know if you’re in or have questions. and to address any FAQ’s here is a very legal event disclaimer (a la Gil Scott-Heron) for you to sign off on.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

say, speaking of just piss anywhere…

our quarterly complimentary copy of the Sanpete Messenger (w/ County Fair supplement) showed up in the mailbox last week. the front page featured this convergence of two earlier posts in a head-on small-time scandal:

informal public middens
&
mychurchdemolition.com

these are just a couple of the stories we've (um, I've) been following here at fish without faces. see. this is the sort of quality journalism you can expect from this blog. stories with texture and a long term commitment and follow through and stick-to-itiveness and tractors and traction. here’s the gist: “The second dumping case took place in Ephraim with the demolition and, Bringhurst said, the illegal dumping of the red-brick LDS church that once stood on Main Street.”

Friday, July 04, 2008

The United States of Just Piss Anywhere and The United States of What’s Going On? What’s Going On?

The United States of Taffy and T-shirts
The United States of Pamper Yourself, You Deserve It
The United States of Pizza Night, Taco Night, Hamburgers
The United States of Where’s the Beef?
The United States of All You Can Eat
The United States of Who Wants Pancakes?
The United States of Great Big Fat People
The United States of Vegan People Who Do Yoga and Stuff
The United States of Mall Walkers
The United States of Wheelchair Access
The United States of Paper or Plastic
The United States of What Price Bananas? Who Killed the Pork Chops? Are You my Angel?
The United States of Yes, We Have No Bananas Today
The United Straits of Brother Can You Spare a Gallon?
The United States of B.Y.O. Body Armor
The United States of What, Me Worry?
The United States of Just Say No
The United States of No, Not In My Name
The United States of Ask Not and Don’t Ask
The Untitled States of It Can’t Happen Here
The United States of (I Sorry for What I Done) Here Your $600 Back
The United States of Rock n’ Roll
The United States of “Hell Yeah, I’m for Revolution. Let’s Have a Light Beer!”
The United States of Yee Haw!The United States of Intelligent Design
Some United States of Celebrity Governors
The United States of Places Named for Dead Indians
The United States of Real Live Indians!
The United States of Ospreys, Diving
The United States of Glossy Paperbacks by Tan Millionaires
The United States of Snow at 10,000 Feet
The United States of Fridges with Ice Machines
The United States of Halftime Shows
The United States of Smoke Detectors and Car Alarms
The United States of Cops: Atlanta
The United States of Precocious Technologies
The United States of Everyone’s Packin’
The Wireless States of Business Networking Solutions
The United States of Home, Auto, Health, Fire, Flood
www.myunitedstates.lol/whatev
The United States of Cell Phone Cameras
The United States of Summer Sales
The United States of Tie a Yellow Ribbon
The United States of Turn out Your Pockets and Remove Your Shoes
The United States with Two Small Children on a Seesaw
The United States of Free Ipods, Free Puppies, Free Lunch
The United States of Little Boxes and Big Boxes
The United States of Chaparral and Pinion Pines
The United States of Pawn Shops and Thrift Stores
The United States of Six More Superhero Movies…

this morning, you pull into the nearest
national park and find yourself suddenly
surrounded and overwhelmed by the high
whining feedback: hundreds of hearing aids.

and we’re all listening for the same thing.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

a picnic

Friday, June 20, 2008

solstice

the first day of summer and there is this
family of landscapers, just deployed
from a box trailer, riding lawnmowers
into the sun, all in white cowboy hats.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

maybe you've heard this one

one morning a man was rescued, having been shipwrecked and alone on a remote island for 20 years. the rescuers were impressed with the three buildings he had built and asked him about them.

"well," the man said, "this here’s my house, and that building over there is the church I go to."

"and what's that third building over yonder?" one rescuer asked.

"oh, that's the church I used to go to," the man replied.

for the last few years, this is the church I have gone to. last Thursday morning I went by there and it was standing; I took these pictures on Thursday evening.