Thursday, September 28, 2006

MONSTERS?

cripe! I was afraid this would happen eventually. despite my best efforts this blog has gotten all preachy. it was supposed to, if nothing else, offer a little asylum from catechism and myspace quilting. and look what’s now become of things. no, no, it’s true! it’s ok, it’s not your fault; I’m the jerk.

no wonder nobody visits anymore. I haven’t had cause to refill the m&m bowl in the parlor for weeks, even quit eating them myself. I’m not even sure if I have a parlor anymore; I should check.

I’m sorry, you probably just got here and are now feeling like you can’t leave until this is at least somewhat resolved. yes, the timing is unfortunate but let me reassure you, it’s not your responsibility. it’s been building up to this for some time now. actually your hubris in thinking that you can just show up and fix everything at this point is kind of presumptuous, don’t you think? a little insulting. your endeavors to use this situation to work out your own issues of guilt and shame are just coming off as selfish. really, you should go. just take the m&m’s and move along. listen, already they pine for you and they’re ideal for on-the-go snacking! keep the bowl, I don’t care.

but if you’re a regular then please just try to stick this out with me. you have no idea of the vistas that await, panorama of all shades, timeless values for your family…

in the meantime how about some Jeffersonian optimism? that’s it, a brisk dash through the autumn leaves and some Jeffersonian optimism. a hope so big that it embraces all things, all creatures of our still new and burgeoning nation. let it lift our spirits to know that it was only 200 years ago that such a renaissance man and statesman believed in us, progress, change and monsters; believed in his Megalonyx and the giant Paraguayan ground sloths. spurning the oblivion, Thomas Jefferson couldn’t imagine that the providence of God would allow extinction. he sent Meriwether Lewis and William Clark out looking for mastodons. and he mailed his extra fossils off to Paris.

I’ll see ya’ later.

2 comments:

Matthew Page said...

When you said "Jeffersonian optimism", I thought you were refering to the hope to one day "move on up to the east side"...

Anyway, I am patiently waiting for all the vistas and panoramas and all that.

For my money, this is the best blog out there.

T.R. said...

this sounds like you're thinking of exitting the blogsphere.


Don't.


I think this dry spell of readers (or at least commenters) is because of the dry spell of updates. they will come back.